“If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were rising against me, I could hide. But it is you a man like myself, my companions, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship at the house of God, as we walked about among the worshippers.
My companion attacks his friends; he violates his covenant. His talk is smooth as butter, yet war is in his heart; his words are more soothing than oil, yet they are drawn swords.
I can only imagine what Jesus felt or what He was thinking knowing Judas was going to betray Him and Peter was going to deny Him, and yet He remained silent until the last supper.
“When evening came, Jesus was reclining at the table with the twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Truly I tell you, one of you will betray me, they were very sad and began to say to him one after the other, “Surely you don’t mean me, Lord?”
Jesus replied, “The one who has dipped his hand into the bowl with me will betray me. The Son of Man will go just as it is written about him, but woe to that man who betrays the Son of Man! It would be better for him if he had not been born.” Then Judas, the one who would betray him said, surely you don’t mean me, Rabbi.
Imagine sitting at the table with some close friends or brothers and sisters in Christ whom you once enjoyed fellowship with, people you trusted and shared your supper with and in your own home mind you. You had no idea that one of them was going to betray you, that war was in there heart to slander, and gossip about you to cover up their own sin and guilt, to set you up like Jesus was, but not only that what if they not only slandered you, what about a dear loved one because in their own eyes and self righteousness they thought they were right with God.
Now, Jesus knew the disciples’ hearts and their motives, He knew everything and everyone and yet He invited them to the last supper and had communion with them.
It was obvious to me that Judas did not know or see Jesus’s worth, to be able to betray Him for 30 pieces of silver. When someone betrays you, they don’t see your worth or value, let alone their own. In fact, they must really hate themselves. God said love others like you love yourself. Meaning value others like you value yourself. We can easily betray, deny, or judge someone else when we don’t love and value ourselves and in turn love and value others.
But, something else comes to mind about Peter and Judas, the difference between them was that Peter wept bitterly for what He had done, he was repentive and turned back to Jesus. Now Judas on the other hand was seized with remorse, returned the 30 pieces, and hung himself. I really believe that both had the opportunity to repent and turn back to Jesus, but Judas could not see forgiveness for what He did to Jesus. If I had done that, I probably wouldn’t have either if I had not known Jesus's love and forgiveness. But, think about this, how many times in our lifetime have we denied Jesus, or betrayed Him or Have placed more value in others and in things other than in Jesus? but, thank God for what Jesus did on the cross for past, present, and future sins. If we truly repent and turn away from our sins, He is just to forgive us.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9’
Isabel Perez McCoy