The joy of Motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times, but amid the challenges there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction. ~Elder M Russell Ballard
I remember one morning I was in the living room crying out and praying to God regarding my daughter. I was asking for God to show her he loved her and how he views her.
I had asked several of my closest sisters in Christ to join with me to pray for her, and one of the responses I got from one of my sisters was to praise out loud. My spirit confirmed yes, I need to praise God and worship.
I started to worship and felt led to declare this song by Corey Asbury, Reckless Love.
I stood in the gap for my daughter as if my daughter was singing this song herself. It was declaring that there was no darkness God couldn’t break in with light, no mountain too high God could not climb, no lie he couldn’t tear down, and no wall he couldn’t break down that would keep him from coming after her with his love. After about an hour of worshiping and praying God started replaying my past—how broken I was, how I was living in sin, had no fear of God, and had so many misconceptions about him.
I was reminded of my own sin, shortcomings, and failures as young adult and as a young mother. That my sins that I did as a young adult not only affected me, but my daughter and family members close to me. I had asked forgiveness before, and I knew God had forgiven me, but I think I needed a reminder of where I came from and how God had rescued me, delivered me, and healed me, and restored me.
He came to me with arms wide open of unconditional love that led me to repentance. I had peace for the remainder of the day, but still my heart was restless that evening.
The following morning, I sat in my usual place in the living-room where I spend time with God, pray, and journal. I asked God,
“God, what do you have to say about my daughter, and about this situation we are facing right now?”
This was God’s response:
“I am calling you too a fast and intercession. There is still much more for you to learn about motherhood. Motherhood doesn’t always look pretty; it is messy, dirty and downright painful. No one said motherhood wasn’t going to be painful. It doesn’t feel good, doesn’t look good, and there will be seasons of heartbreak.
“But that’s where I, the great I Am come along. You need to cry out and stand in the gap for your daughter through intercession—that she will come to a revelation of the Father’s love I have for her. When a mother’s love or father’s love falls short, I have a perfect love that heals, restores, and redeems. I have a perfect love that casts out all fear and torment.
“I entrusted this child to you. Abide in me, because in your own strength you can do nothing, but in my strength, you can do all things.”
I can do all things through him who gives me strength
He also said that we as mothers were never meant to take God’s place in our children’s lives. No matter what decisions they make, no matter who they choose to love—it was not up to us.
We would like to have a say-so, especially when we see them heading in the wrong direction or about to make a big mistake. I’m learning that I don’t always know what’s best for my young-adult daughter. I’m learning I don’t always have a solution to her problems. But God does; he really knows what’s best for our children even if it means going through heartaches, making bad decisions, and learning the hard way.
Our role as parents to our young-adult children is to direct them to God—to fear God and to love him and to go to God first before anyone else when they are facing challenges. I am learning our job as a mother is to love them unconditionally like God does.
It’s not our job to change them, but to be an example and point them to God and his infallible Word. It was never our job to judge them, criticize, or beat them with the bible or theology but only to direct their hearts to Jesus.
I know as parents we have fallen short of this and made a lot of mistakes, but there is grace and forgiveness in God.
God is so much bigger, and his love is so much deeper, purer, and unconditional. His love conquers all, but he can understand a mother’s heart for her children. I believe he gave us that heart to want to nurture and protect our children from all harm. We’re like lionesses when it comes to our children, but God loves our children even more than we do, and he wants to be their protector and their everything when we fall short. His answers to our prayers don’t always look like we think they should. His ways and thoughts are so much higher, wider, and deeper. He sees the overall picture of what is yet to take place.
Sometimes he takes us deeper through pain, disappointments, and unexpected circumstance. He is always faithful, and he always answers. He is the perfect Father and gives perfect love. I’m learning to have a heart like his. To love like he does.
I miss those times when my daughter was small, and I used to sing to her and teach her how to read. Those were priceless memories.
The adolescent years were the hardest, but they drew me closer to the Father for wisdom, strength, and more of his love.
The young-adult years are about learning how to let go and trust God. I think it’s the hardest phase.
You learn that by helping them too much you’re enabling them and making them to depend on you instead of depending on God. You learn that even your advice isn’t always the best advice for their problem, because we think we know what’s best for them.
You learn to ask if you can share your advice, rather than just give it. Sometimes we just need to listen and let them figure it out for themselves and trust God that he will show them the right direction or solution. And then watch, pray, and be there when they make mistakes, because they will learn through their mistakes.
God is that way with us as his children. He always points us in the right direction, but sometimes we don’t always make that right choice, and we learn, and he give us grace to walk it out and get it right the next time.
It makes me think of Jesus's mother to have to see her son go through excruciating pain to fulfill God’s will for the world. I can’t even imagine having to go through that or compare it, but I know he understands a mother’s heart for her children.
“But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for own children” (1 Thessalonians 2:7).
Thank you, God that your loving kindness leads me to repentance when I need to repent and turn to you. Teach us how to have your heart towards our children. You created them, and you know their, hearts, and you know what moves them. Help us to get out of your way and trust you when our children are wayward and heading in the wrong direction. I choose to trust you that you know what’s best. You will give me wisdom in every decision and the grace and strength to walk it out.
1. Do you have children, nieces or nephews or even a friend’s child/adult children that you tend to worry a lot about because they are clearly with bad company? Are they doing drugs, being in jail, or heading in the wrong direction without God in their life?
2. Can you choose to trust God and surrender them into God’s hands right now?
3. Are you willing to sacrifice time too fast and pray when God calls you to?
From Inner Beauty book copyright © 2019 Isabel Perez McCoy